youre lurking in front of me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize