I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
