those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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