you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
