kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
