me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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