Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
