we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
