Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
