that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
