C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
