Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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