well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
