I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
