Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
