As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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