Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize