i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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