No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
