The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
