Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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