If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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