I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize