My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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