Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
