He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
