Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
even my farts smell like vagina
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
