Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We are all done wearing pants today
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
