Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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