why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
