Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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