Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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