I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
