thus making me awesome and them whores
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
