Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize