it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
