I must be too annoying 4 u.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
