i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
