im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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