I want to make a zoo with you.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
