hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
