wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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