He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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