But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
