ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think i got beer on your cat.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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