He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
