WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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