Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
