its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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