I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
