My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
