VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
