You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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