So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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