there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Boobs are out for the taking
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
