Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
