I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
