There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
