omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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