I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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