She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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