..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize