i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
