Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
