Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
