She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
