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• (206): View more from Washington

  You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.

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• (909): View more from California

  did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure

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• (469): View more from Texas

  If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.

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