wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
