you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
