She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
