Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
