Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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