if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
