i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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