the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
