We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
